‘You see, it is that I have a plan to marry an Englishman. The militia offered little in the way of relief. “You killed them, didn’t you?” He said. She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. Of course Nicholas was bound to give her a French name. But it’s love you should’ve had when you were tiny and I didn’t give it to you. ” “I don’t care how we meet,” she said. Slowly and ruefully she realized why marriage was so idealized among her generations of those before her. Flesh and blood, vivid, alluring; she was no longer the symbol, therefore she had become, as in the twinkling of an eye, an utter stranger.
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